The New Broom

58

In some cultures there is a tradition when one gets married of jumping over a broomstick to signify the start of marital bliss. Ah yes if The Husband and I had been true to our Celtic roots and partaken of that tradition on our wedding day I can just hear him saying, “Ah don’t worry love I left that broom there, I’ll put it away later”.

And there you have it, forget the whole ‘men are from Mars and women from Venus’ thing it’s simply that men are ‘oh I’ll do it later’ and women are ‘ok I’ll do it now’- simple.

Now in The Husbands defence, (what do you mean you never thought I would say that?), I absolutely get why he doesn’t want to come back from work and start on my numerous and brilliant ideas for DIY projects.
By the way while we’re on the subject I’ve had an idea about increasing storage space by going subterranean – a simple spiral staircase down into the bowels of the earth just off the kitchen for wine and essentials – perfect!

See, even while I am typing I am thinking if
‘we’ should make a start in the New Year holidays, that way it will all be done by Spring. I can also hear The Husbands reply that
cannot be put into print…

Way back just over thirty six years ago when The Husband’s knees buckled under my weight as he heroically man handled me across the threshold of our first home, the die was cast.
I loved our house and set about turning it into a home with gusto, I should point out that The Husband had spent eighteen months of hard graft building it and thus was in no mood for anymore ‘little jobs’. So unwittingly I became somewhat of a nurturing domestic goddess ensuring all was ‘lovely’, home cooked everything, gleaming surfaces and ironed underwear – pre-children obviously.

The years passed to include more major building projects leading The Husband to conclude he’d done his bit aside from infrequent bouts of decorating.

For my part living in a house of men I’ve had to learn patience. I made a number of New Years’ resolutions dedicated to ‘sorting them out by making them share the household chores and cooking’, only to see them crumble to dust (which I’ve had to hoover up) by the end of January.

There was no point, so now I live happily with the familiar phrases-“Yeah alright don’t go on, I’ll put it away in a minute”, and my personal favourite “Why don’t you do it later”; because I need to do it now as for certain they’ll be something else to
do later.

There are no such resolutions this year, if the truth be known I rather love looking after them all. Being married is rather like working for the Forestry Commission you have to do lots of maintenance to keep things from getting overgrown or stunted, plant your seedlings and wait a long time for them to mature. Although sometimes you get a rogue tree or plant that springs up from nowhere.

So I attentively planted the magic bean of an idea about a new stair runner and before I knew it The Husband had set forth with vigour – job done! Then as if they had actually developed the ability to read my mind Stars I and II finally learnt how to load the dishwasher and cook a family meal from scratch!

I reckon they went out and brought a new broom that sweeps cleaner! Mind you they would have jumped over it, I bet I’m the ‘someone’ who will put it away later!

Happy New Year.
Sandra Pagan

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